Editor’s note: In 2014, a man pleaded guilty before a Mombasa court of rubbing his genitals on a woman while aboard a ferry at the Likoni channel; he had to spend years in jail for it. A year later, women took to the streets to protest rising cases of sexual harassment in the ferries. Committing an indecent act to an adult is contrary to the Sexual Offences Act. Ian Isherwood highlights some of acts of sexual harassment that you may not even notice.

Do you know what sexual harassment is? They say roughly 1 in 3 women has been sexually harassed at some point in their life.

Maybe you’ve experienced it at work, online or in public. You might have even unknowingly done or said something that offends someone. It could have been that ‘harmless’ wolf whistle or kiss you playfully directed towards that hottie recently. Yes that can be seen as sexual harassment in people’s eyes.

The truth is, there is no clear definition of what sexual harassment is. Every country, culture and individual will have a different tolerance to certain advances.

However, universally it is defined as: “an unwelcomed sexual advance, request for sexual favours, and other verbal or physical behaviour of a sexual nature.“

Women in the work force are nine times more likely than men to quit their jobs because of sexual harassment. Image: Ian Isherwood

Sexual harassment can occur at work, at university, in your living environment or in public; it can literally happen anywhere.

Most sexual harassment cases are reported by women, but even men are increasingly also reporting issues.

With today’s modern mentality clashing with the older more set traditional cultures, the fine line of what you can and can’t do is extremely unclear.

This is why it’s important to understand and respect one another’s boundaries and personal space. What might be acceptable to you might not be the same case for someone else.

Ignorance is no longer an excuse

When a woman directly experiences sexual harassment it affects her mental and physical health. Image: Ian Isherwood

Women across Kenya regularly complain about men’s advances being too sexually forward and aggressive and this has become a major problem.

In fact, women in the work force are nine times more likely than men to quit their jobs, five times more likely to transfer, and three times more likely to lose their jobs because of sexual harassment.

When a woman directly experiences sexual harassment it affects her mental and physical health as well as her social and economic status.

We all know Kenya has long been a male dominated country. The polygamy law alone shows this, men want their cake and then some extra on the side, while women are shamed for even thinking about it.

Sexual harassment should no longer be accepted or tolerated and ignorance is no longer an excuse, all the information you need is out there.

So then, what is sexual harassment?

Generally speaking, sexual harassment is when you make someone feel uncomfortable, ashamed and/or humiliated. Image: Ian Isherwood

As mentioned earlier, each culture has different tolerances towards certain advances. In the list below are 20 of the most common sexual harassment behaviours, remember some can be seen as innocent, but there is a time and place for everything, especially at work.

1. Asking for sexual exchange for a benefit or a favour
2. Making unnecessary physical contact, including unwanted touching
3. Making sexual jokes
4. Wolf whistling
5. Saying or doing something because you think a person does not conform to a sex-role stereotype
6. Making sex-related comments about some-one
7. Posting or sharing sexual images
8. Calling people sex-specific derogatory names
9. Pressuring someone to date you
10. Using rude or insulting language or making comments towards women or men, depending on the circumstances

Sexual harassment is a problem and we owe it to ourselves, our friends and our future generations to put a stop to it now.

11. Demanding hugs
12. Bosting about your or someone else’s sexual ability
13. Leering
14. Sexual innuendos
15. Sabotaging women’s work
16. Lewd and threatening letters
17. Public humiliation
18. Hooting your car horn, sucking your lips and making animal noises
19. Stalking
20. Indecent exposure

Generally speaking, sexual harassment is when you make someone feel uncomfortable, ashamed and/or humiliated.

It’s about power

Do you remember #MyDressMyChoice protests in 2015? Image: ABC

According to a 1992 study conducted by the International Labour Organization (ILO), ”sexual harassment is inextricably linked with power and takes place in societies which often treat women as sex objects and second-class citizens.”

Kenya has struggled with gender inequality for some time. Do you remember #MyDressMyChoice in 2015? Where women had to fight for their right to be themselves and wear what they wanted? It is a continued dilemma for most women in everyday life.

Men continue to see themselves as the dominant force. This can be seen at most work places, on the street and in any bar or restaurant.

The good news is more and more Kenyan women are in power positions today than ever before and the gap is closing in. They are no longer accepting or tolerating the whole previous generations of male chauvinists created.

Thanks to social media it’s now easier than ever to report and shame the power-abusing culprits. Even though over 70% of cases go unreported.

 Take action

Kenya has always been a playful country in terms of sexual advances. Image: YouTube/Avrant

Sexual harassment is a problem and we owe it to ourselves, our friends and our future generations to put a stop to it now.

Kenya has always been a playful country in terms of sexual advances.  Generally, women know how to handle the small talk and cheeky advances from playful men.

However, when people of power start to abuse their position and treat others in a derogatory way, the line is crossed and we must take action.

If you feel you are being sexually harassed then you must do something about it by confronting the person.

If you see it happening to someone else, don’t just watch, approach the person and remind them of what they are doing and how it is negatively affecting the other person.

We’re a happy, friendly and flirtatious nation by nature. But we must learn to respect boundaries and control our raging hormones.

If any of our advances make someone feel uncomfortable, we are already crossing that line. Play nice, be nice and leave everyone and everything better than when you found them.

Ian is the founder and CEO of DateMeKenya.com. He is an online dating expert, dating coach and has over 11 years of experience in the industry. Follow Ian and his DateMeKenya.com journey on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @DateMeKenya

This article expresses the author’s opinion only. The views and opinions expressed here do not necessarily represent those of TUKO.co.ke or its editors. We welcome opinion and views on topical issues. Email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..