Monday, 25 November 2024

Neglecting Genotype In The Choice Of Spouse: Faith Or Daring God

George was to Jane everything she had always wanted in a man. His soothing voice, his temperament, free spirit, incurable love for God and disposition to life saw her falling heads over heels for him.  Right from the day she set her eyes on him, she knew he was different from the other guys around and not less than an angel in the similitude of a man.

Jane has a blossoming career in a leading accounting firm with an eye popping take home package, so money to her was secondary to finding the love of her life.

“Hello, I’m Jane and I think you are kind of new in this estate,” she grinned with her hand stretched to George on a cold Saturday morning, during the aerobics session organised weekly by the sports lovers in the estate.

“Oh yeah. George is my name. I moved in three weeks ago. I noticed the banner of the aerobics session last Sunday, on my way from Church, so I decided to come around today,” he warmly responded.

“I see. You are most welcomed,”Jane said with utmost admiration for him.

 

After the encounter, Jane could not take her mind off him as she kept casting her mind to the spark in his eyes during the little time, he walked her home.

That began the journey of the friendship between the duo. In less than three months, it was like the love birds have been friends from childhood as they seemlessly complemented each other with friends wishing they were in their shoes.

To solidify the relationship, they both got to meet their family members and marriage plan was underway. But alas she realised George’s genotype is same as hers- AS.

She was counseled by to call off the relationship and save herself of future trauma especially in the outcome of the children’s genotype. While some advised they stay off the risk of producing sickle cell children and go for adoption. But they stood their ground that there is no going back because of the intense love for each other and their faith in God to do all things. For them this is the time to put her faith into action, believing that a miracle happens that will change their genotype.

Some individuals wouldn’t be carriers of the sickle cell gene if their parents have known better. Unlike some decades ago, it is paramount in churches these days that intending couples go through series of medical test to define how compatible they are.

Come to think of it, miracles do happen. Infact life itself it’s a miracle but are Jane and George daring God or exercising faith?

Olundare Enimola, a Pastor in the Redeemed Christian Church Of God (RCCG), said foreseeing a disaster  and choosing to allow it happen to one connotes irresponsibility.

As he stressed that: “You know in reality, God expects us to follow certain principles that guide life itself. This is a situation of daring God. It is falling into a pitfall intentionally; you may likely face the consequences of your action.

“God expects us to be responsible, doing the needful because there are principles that guide marriage, family unit, the workplace, the society etc.

“This kind of situation goes beyond having intense love, because we have seen couples who out of ignorance married despite not being compatible genotype wise and are suffering the consequences as their children who are SS always have crises and are frequently in and out of the hospital.”

Lauding churches for their role in this aspect of medical checks, Enimola viewed that God can intervene when people are innocently ignorant.

“The Bible says can two walk together except they agree. Agreement in this context has to do with blood and gene compatibility. God may defend you because you are innocently ignorant of the truth and not when you purposely throw caution into the wind, God will punish you,” he further stressed.

Notwithstanding, the preacher said there are instances where people of incompatible genotype are specifically led to marry. In his case he underlines that at least two or three genuine Minister’s should be able to confirm God’s voice.

A marriage counselor, Pastor Adetokunbo Emmanuel, believes that it is not God’s will for His children to be trapped in the web, as concerning the possibility of having children with sickle cell anemia by parents with less compatible or incompatible genotype.

He thus called on the embracement of genetic advancement. According to him, genetic advancement has helped saved many lives and has increased life expectancy and longevity.

I believe God Has a hand in it and we should take advantage of it in daily living and in the choices we make in life, said Emmanuel.

But having said that, he asserts God still has His sovereignty as His will surpasses all and so we should make that sacrosanct.

“His will must be done because that’s what’s best for us. But His will for us isn’t that we’ll have troubles even if we can’t totally avoid troubles and trials in this life. He would not want us to deliberately choose what would hurt us. His will should not be to hurt us; He will rather work everything together for our good.

“So we need to understand His will. If He is leading us into a marriage, the marriage would obey all that God has said a marriage should be even if there are challenges to overcome by faith,” he said.

Highlighting inability to hear God as the problem of many, he expressed: “The problem with us is that many have not taken time to develop their spiritual lives to be able to follow God’s will in day to day living. And you won’t just get there as soon as the issue of marriage comes in.

“If you have been living your life not following the leading of the Spirit and not making choices according to the word of God, it’ll be difficult to suddenly change into that mode when the time comes to get married. But if we care about the Spirit of God leading us long before marriage decisions become pertinent, we would have known how to follow God and faith would be easy irrespective of where God is leading.”

Sharing his marital experience, he said he did not do many things according to norms and did not have the opportunity to check his status and that of his wife.

Giving more detail, he said “we were just following God till we got married. We did the test over a year after our wedding and lo and behold it was AA and AS.

“I am of the strong opinion that if we follow divine leading as is expected for everyone, we would have less issues with compatibility in many areas and consequently, living by faith wouldn’t be too difficult in marriage even if two people with AS genotype got married but we have to be very sure of divine guidance.

“Once that assurance isn’t there, God would honour common sense not to go into such union. Once we can’t find divine footprints in the journey into a marriage, it’ll be exactly what God would want not to go into it and it won’t be about lack of faith.”

Sounding a note of warning, he reiterated that faith “come by hearing and hearing by the word or by the leading of the Spirit of God. If God orders for it, He will pay but if it’s based on presumptions, it’ll only be a matter of mercy and we shouldn’t tempt or dare God.”

Apostle David Elo, founder of Believers’ House Foundation (BHF), maintains that going into marriage with a partner with unhealthy health status and incompatible genotype is an unwise decision. He spelt that wisdom entails that God intervenes before marriage.

“First God is not against knowledge, in fact He grant man access to hidden information to help live safe life. God also Has the capacity to break any rules to serve His purpose. By that I mean in this case God can led two people of AS to get married but it must truly be God, if not it is foolishness to get married when one knows their genotype is not compatible in the name of love or faith.

“God gave brain so we can allow Him to rest. I have received calls before on my radio asking if they should get married as SS because I said no. A young came to me some time and said he wants to get married to a girl but she is HIV positive and that he has faith she will be healed and I told him to use your faith to heal her first before the marriage. Faith is not foolishness neither does Christianity support foolishness. My answer again is that we should not tempt God,” he uttered.

Annette Akinsete, National Director and CEO of the Sickle Cell Foundation of Nigeria (SCFN), while creating awareness on the importance of early genotype screening, said it is important to know one’s genotype early enough before going into a relationship.

Sickle  cell according to her is an inherited blood disorder common in Africa, particularly in Nigeria where one out of every four persons carries the “SS’’ gene.

“Most of the work we do is on research but now, we want to move out to communities to engage the people where they live and work.

“We have been to rural areas like Epe and Badagry; now we are engaging urban communities and the dynamics are so different, unlike the rural communities where we gather people under one roof, here they are very busy.

“What we are doing is to raise awareness and at the same time, symbolically and practically get the children while they are young to know their genotype before they start going into relationships and start having children.

“If people are informed early enough before they walk down the aisle of a church, they will make more informed decisions having known about sickle cell and its implications,’’ she said.

Akinsete who lauded the efforts of the Lagos State Government in supporting the centre, especially by providing N12 million toward the establishment of a Bone Marrow Transplantation Centre, disclosed that  Bone Marrow Transplantation is a very expensive procedure and the only known cure for sickle cell in the world today.

Giving more enlightenment on the cause of Sickle cell disorder, Dr. Ajibola Sanders of the SCFN, described it as a blood disorder that occurs when two carriers or persons with AS genotype procreate children with SS genotype.

He made known that Nigeria as a country has the highest number of persons with sickle cell all over the world.

He said that: “It is estimated that over 150 000 babies are born with sickle cell each year and over 40 million Nigerians have this gene, thereby making Nigeria the country with the highest number of sickle cell patients.

“Also, in Nigeria, 100,000 babies die of this disorder every year.”

He added that the early symptoms of sickle cell disorder includes swellings of the hands and the feet alongside fever in children between the ages of six months and two years.

According to him, this is called the hand and foot syndrome.

“Other symptoms include pains in various parts of the body, arms, back, shoulders, chest and yellow eyes, which are known as jaundice.

“This is because of the short life span of the red blood cells in people with the disorder.

“For people between the ages of two and 16 years, seizures, paralysis or even death may occur as a result of stroke which can be a manifestation of sickle cell disorder.

“Also, leg ulcers, which are injuries around the ankles and legs which do not heal, are all parts of the discomforts associated with the disorder,’’ he said.

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