Communication is a vital ingredient of any healthy relationship. Communication however doesn’t mean always talking.

Effective communication involves knowing when to talk and when to be quiet. Here is a look into instances when silence is good for your relationship;

1. When your thoughts are feelings – Before you speak out, ask yourself, are my thoughts feelings or facts? If they are mere feelings, it is better to hold off speaking until you can work through them. Speaking out every fear or worry you have will only put stress on your relationship.

2. It would make you seem closed minded – This is especially true when your love interest is offering constructive criticism. Because of your ego, it is easy to jump into your defense without evaluating all the information. A moment of silence to evaluate their view point is wise.

3. When you are wrong – Relationships are not about who is right and who is wrong. That said, there are times when during a disagreement when you are the one on the wrong and you know it. While there is that temptation to keep talking to feed your ego, it is wiser to be quiet.

4. When you are about to lie – Lying is an easy way out of tight spots in a relationship. The truth however is that more often than not, it only offers a temporary reprieve. Silence is better than any lie, no matter how sweetly coated.

5. When you want a one upper – If you are one of those people who must win or have the last word in a conversation even with your love interest, you need to learn the art of silence. If your love interest tells you they are hoping to make a million shillings this year, resist the urge to tell them that your dream is even bigger. This is because while having a one upper will make you feel good, it only has a negative impact on the person you are talking to. Learn the art of positivity.

6. When you have already said it once – If you have already said something to your partner and you are sure that they heard you, there is no point of repeating it. Saying it again and again or louder will only aggravate the situation. Try putting your point across in a different manner.

7. When it would intensify your anger – There are those moments when in the midst of an argument, speaking flares up your temper. When this happens, things can get out of hand. You might say nasty things you can’t take back or things you do not really mean.

8. When you are about to say something negative – We all get overwhelmed by negative feelings sometimes. The trick however is learning to banish these from your heart and mind rather than spreading them. Negativity can kill your relationship. Should you find yourself about to say something negative to your partner, hold your tongue.