Living in today’s world where every woman is bombarded with different messages on what perfection should look and sound like, it is easy for one to develop sexual confidence issues.

The good news is that this dip in sexual confidence can be turned around. Here’s how;

1. Look at real women’s bodies – There are countless magazines out there portraying unreal bodies of women. There are also those that show bodies of real women. Women with stretch marks, bulging stomachs and love handles. Look at these and you will stop striving for that elusive perfection and begin appreciating the body that you have.

2. Turn on the music – Listening and dancing to music will naturally turn on your sex hormones. Music allows you to leave the present reality if only temporarily. It allows you to see yourself however you want.

3. Forget what they said – Sometimes, a faltering sexual confidence is a result of something negative that a past lover said. If this is the case with you, you need to remind yourself that whatever they said about you was their opinion and not your truth. Don’t let past experiences keep you from enjoying the present.

4. Know what you want – A common reason that women lack sexual confidence is that they don’t understand themselves. You need to start doing your homework on yourself. Understand your body, the things that you like and those that turn you off and you will be ready to take on anything.

5. Learn to let go – The reason you can’t attain sexual confidence could be that you are just too self-conscious in the bedroom. You need to forget all those things you heard about how women should always be well put together. These ‘rules’ don’t apply in the bedroom.

6. Turn down the lights – Yes, bright lighting might not be ideal in the bedroom. When it shines on you, it shows you all the things that are wrong with your body. Dim lighting on the other hand allows you to have whatever image of yourself you desire. Dim lighting also sets the mood in the bedroom. You can also opt for lights that shines upwards as opposed to those that shine down on you.

7. Get off social media – Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are three places that the Nairobi woman likes to spend her time. What she might not know is that social media is largely to blame for those body images issues. A lot of women on these sites are putting up appearances making you doubt yourself. Log off.

8. Invest in some lingerie – I know. This might sound very cliché. The truth however is that good quality, figure flattering lingerie will make you feel better about your body.