Speaking with PUNCH Newspaper, Mrs Alakija said, ''A lot of things make marriages break. What I have noticed over the years is that a marriage doesn’t break suddenly or in a day; it is a gradual process. And the earlier you nip it in the bud, the better. And it is always better to know what the dos and don’ts of marriage are before you get into it so that you don’t get your fingers burnt and so that you can enjoy rather than endure your marriage. One of the tenements of marriage is that you must communicate with one another.

''If you do not talk to one another regularly enough, your love can begin to grow cold. You may begin to drift apart and then other things begin to set in. The Bible tells us that if one person offends the other, you need to take care of that matter immediately and not let it degenerate. Do not let it degenerate into something that you will still be sulking about the next day because with every action, there is reaction and with every reaction, there is a counter reaction. I counsel partners and one of the things I tell them is never to make the mistake of having separate bedrooms from the very start. Make sure you share one bedroom even if you have 10 bedrooms.

''And not only that, if you tell the carpenter to make your bed to be from one wall to another, you are making the biggest mistake. It can separate you. When you quarrel, it won’t help. But when there is nowhere to turn and you end up kicking one another, you will make up quickly. One of the things I do to break the ice rather than let things degenerate is to ask my husband to help do my zip even when I can do it by myself. I have broken the ice.

''You are bound to quarrel because you are two human beings. If anyone tells you they have a perfect marriage, it is a lie. Yes, they may be compatible and be having a good time but that does not mean it is perfect. It doesn’t exist. Make sure that you set up the values that you will use to run your home and bring up your children. I greet my husband good morning with a kiss. There are different ways of showing submission. It is not that we are asking you [the wife] to put your head on the floor so that he [your husband] can trample on it. No! We are saying show your husband respect. It is the will of God. Speak to him nicely. There is no man that you would treat like that and would not honour, respect, appreciate and do whatever you ask of him when you ask for a favour. He would go all out with pleasure and even go the extra mile to do whatever you ask of him. That is what a lot of people don’t realise.

''Likewise, a man should love his wife; that is what the Bible says. He should honour his wife and not bring a girlfriend into the matrimonial home and say what can she do? Are you supposed to do that? Is it fair? Is it right? Is it because you are stronger than her physically? One thing will lead to another and the marriage will degenerate. Once it starts degenerating and you don’t quickly nip it in the bud it may lead to separation or divorce.