I recently missed a big business opportunity after I failed to pick a call I could not identify. It happened that a certain business person wanted to hire my four trucks for a transport job. I normally do not pick calls from people I do not know and some of my friends also do the same.

I have been wondering whether we possess some inborn fear or it is about lack of confidence in people. I would like to get that little courage of picking up all calls.

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After reading your question several times, I am not sure what it is you would like to know, and it is possible that my answer might be partly off the mark.

At the end of your question you state: “I would like to get a little courage of picking up all calls.”

You seem to have what might amount to an irrational fear of speaking to people you do not know. If that be the case, then you might be suffering from a clinical condition which might be amenable to treatment.

It might also be that you have other phobias such as fear of the dark, of open or closed spaces or even eating in public. Google phobias and you will be surprised at how many there are.

I do not think you have a phobia in a clinical sense, and my sense is that your fear is more social in nature. It is perhaps more correct to describe it as a decision you have made because of past experiences in answering strange calls.

There are many people, who like you have made a conscious decision not to pick calls from numbers they do not recognise. Reasons for refusing (as opposed to fearing) to take calls from strangers are varied.

Many politicians give their numbers to all manner of people and if they were to take all the calls that came through, they would have no time to do anything else. Some doctors function perfectly well by publishing their personal numbers on visiting cards while others find the practice unacceptable.

In a recent article in the Business Daily, former Information PS Bitange Ndemo explained the silence that comes with exit from public life. In a sense, it is an expression of high social esteem to have three or more phones ringing at the same time during a meeting. It makes some people to feel important and needed.

Others take pride in looking at a caller on the phone and with open disgust declare to all, “These ministers keep calling me. I will not take this call.”

Others will do the same and mention the name of a prominent businessman or banker. In these situations, a person with low self esteem uses such declarations of lack of interest in the people calling to intimidate or impress those around him. If you are one such person, then you might have fallen into the trap and by mistake failed or refused to take a call hoping to impress the company you were in.

If that be the case, then I hope you have learnt your lesson. Some people get over these problems by having three phone lines; one for the family, the other for business, and the third for “social” calls. You might wish to consider this approach if you have the problems we have described.

Losing a deal

On losing a big deal because you did not pick a call from a strange number, if the person calling you really wanted to give you the business, why did he not text you to call him back urgently? That is what most people do if they want you to contact them.

This person might be seeking other favours from you and lying that he called you for the business. Let him tell you what other efforts he made to ensure that you do the deal with him.

Coming back to you and your friends who do not answer calls from strangers reminds me of an old woman who went to a phone repair shop. She was convinced that her phone was not working because none of her children had called her for a whole week.

After a thorough check she was told that her phone was in perfect working order and, therefore, the problem lay with her relationship with her children. Are you like that woman in looking to solve the wrong problem?

This article was first published in the Business Daily.