Sometime in 1990, or probably 1991, I was travelling from Lagos to Ilorin, Kwara state, by public transport. Midway into the four-hour trip, boredom was beginning to take a toll on the passengers. The music of Shina Peters was playing in the background. Peters was the rave of the moment at the time with his Afrojuju brand. The taxi driver, perhaps out of pity or a sense of duty, decided to administer some therapy on us. He came up with an amazing piece of information.

“Do you know that Abiola (yes, he meant Bashorun MKO Abiola) doesn’t ‘spray’ Shina Peters at parties again?” he asked, as if it was a question. “There was a day Abiola went to withdraw money at the World Bank, where the richest people in the world keep their money. When he got there, he was shocked to see Shina also withdrawing money. Shina had become one of the richest people in the world too. From that day, Abiola made up his mind never to ‘spray’ Shina again.” I didn’t want to spoil his fun so I kept quiet as the gullible passengers lapped up the lie. I laughed secretly.

I remembered this incident when the Ebola rumour broke out in Calabar on Thursday.

Rumour — another name for an unconfirmed story in circulation — comes in different forms and with different motives. One, it can take the shape of a fable, or what we call “fabu”, which is entirely a figment of imagination. This was evident in the Shina Peters tale. It could be fun, though.

Two, rumour can be a strategy of flying a kite to set an agenda or test the waters.

Three, rumour can come as a tool of propaganda and deliberate falsehood for whatever purpose.

Four, rumour could be the handiwork of some mischief maker just for the fun of it.

Five, it could also be a crude attempt to fill in an information gap by jumping into conclusions, as in the Ebola rumour.

I have often been tempted to conclude that the advent of social media had given rumours a place of pride in the public sphere, but, in truth, rumour mongering had been a staple for ages — long before Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, BBM, SMS and blogs came on the scene. The anti-SAP riots of 1989 were sparked off by rumours that the then military president, Gen. Ibrahim Babangida, was rated by the American magazine, Ebony, among the world’s wealthiest men. The false rumours were printed on leaflets and circulated nationwide. It was propaganda that easily set the frustrated people against the president. Nigeria caught fire. And there was no Twitter then.

I find some rumours really fascinating because of the gullibility of many Nigerians, no matter their level of education. Before President Muhammadu Buhari sent his ministerial list to the senate last month, a mischievous Nigerian had composed his own list and faithfully circulated it on the social media, making it go viral with the help of other easily excitable people. On the list, there were three nominees from Ekiti State alone: Segun Oni, Femi Falana and Kayode Fayemi. Yet we know that the maximum you can have from any state is two — assuming Buhari wants to pick an additional geo-political slot after the mandatory one slot per state. Yet some people gulped the nonsense.

When the authentic list was finally made public, somebody sat down again and began to allocate portfolios. It was pure guesswork and the errors were too glaring. One, Buhari did not list the states of origin of his nominees in his letter to the senate president, but the self-appointed portfolio allocator did. Two, Ogbonnaya Onu, from Ebonyi State, was listed as coming from Abia. Three, Amina Mohammed is from Gombe, but they put Kaduna in front of her name — and some people even started writing petition on that basis. Four, who signed the statement distributing portfolios? Nobody. Yet some people were gullible enough to rebroadcast the kite-flier.

Meanwhile, in the wake of the Diezani Alison-Madueke saga, a British columnist wrote a side comment titled: “£13bn is Hard to Hyde”. He said he understood that the ex-minister, who was “nicked” under allegations that £13bn (or $20bn) of Nigeria’s oil money is missing, wanted to buy a house at Hyde Park, London. He remarked: “With £13bn I’m surprised she didn’t buy the whole of Hyde Park.” By the time his comment was repackaged, the new story was that a British newspaper (not even a columnist) had reported that she bought a house for £13bn! Even the Buckingham Palace cannot be that expensive.

On another note, I will never forget the 2015 electioneering. All my life, I had never experienced so many rumours and lies being manufactured. A popular one said Buhari rejected his pension of N300 million and said he should only be paid 10% of it because that was what he should earn. The composer of the rumour said he personally went to the ministry of finance to confirm the figure! But the total package of a retired head of state is N2.9m per quarter — or N11.6m per year! Nevertheless, it went viral. I read an article in The Observer of London in which a respected Nigerian wrote this as a fact. Some even said Buhari’s daughter was married to an Igbo!

To be fair, Buhari was due some luck with the rumour-mongers. For years, they damaged him. The most damaging rumour was that Buhari said Muslims should only vote for Muslims. For years, this was used against him in the media. It hurt him politically. He never won in any southern state in the 2003, 2007 and 2011 elections. I remember a phone conversation I had with him in 2003 during which he lamented the damage the media had done to him. “Why is the press after me?” he asked me. I replied, with a hint of humour: “Maybe because you jailed journalists in 1984.” He then replied: “But that was 19 years ago! Can’t we finally move on? Can’t I be forgiven?”

Now, why are we so vulnerable to rumour-mongering in Nigeria? I believe there are many reasons. To start with, official information is difficult to come by or not wholly credible. Somebody then tries to fill in the gap. Any bit of information is better than none, it seems. We also fall victim because we are so gullible. We believe anything, especially if it suits our prejudices and biases. We will just jump at it. We also tend to believe the worst of our leaders because of the pains and sufferings we have been subjected to for ages. We know most of them are looters, so we only need a little evidence to twist the tale to our taste. We add salt, pepper and curry to make it sweeter.

Ultimately, everyone who is a consumer of rumours will have to determine for themselves what is believable, what is speculative, what is “fabu” and what is pure mischief designed to mislead people. There are people who make genuine mistakes — and they normally apologise when they discover that they themselves were misled. My training as a journalist is that when I write an incorrect or misleading report, I should retract it and apologise. It is not only honourable, it helps build credibility. Even the world’s most respected media outlets fall victim to inaccurate reporting. The real deal is to correct and clarify — and apologise if need be.

However, there are those who generate false rumours because they know people are simply gullible. The gullible believe anything they are told and are always eager to re-disseminate without circumspection. The rumour mongers may also want to sound authoritative, to show off like they too have sources in high places. There are, of course, pure mischief-makers, who just enjoy generating false rumours, hoping they will go viral. They laugh at the little rascal within them with a sense of pride. They care little about the consequences of their mischief and how people are being damaged, sometimes beyond repairs.

Many Nigerians died last year drinking and bathing with salt as the antidote to Ebola — based on a recommendation from a mischief-maker on the social media. The Ebony riots of 1989 led to the death of innocent Nigerians who went on the rampage believing that indeed Babangida and his wife owned the biggest wrist watch company in Switzerland and the biggest fashion houses in France. Last Thursday, rumour was all over Calabar that Ebola had returned to Nigeria, thereby creating panic in and around the state. While the rumour about Shina Peters and World Bank was benign, some other rumours, like the Ebola one, are quite deadly. Let’s be guided, fellow Nigerians.

And Four Other Things…

SCREENING GAME
On Tuesday, the senate will begin the screening of 21 ministerial nominees, whose names were sent by President Muhammadu Buhari on September 30. But what is this procedure that at least two senators from a nominee’s state must endorse them before they can be confirmed? What is the sense in that? The president has nominated a minister for the federation, not for a state. The senate should screen the nominee and if there is no consensus over whether or not a nominee has passed the test, the senators should vote and decide by a simple majority. That is democracy. Simple.
IMMUNITY AND IMPUNITY
At a time when Nigerians are demanding greater accountability and transparency from their leaders, it is ridiculous that the federal lawmakers are seeking to provide immunity for their leaders under the guise that the executive branch enjoys same. If they listen carefully to the people, they will be shocked to discover that many Nigerians do not want immunity for anyone — whether in the executive, legislature or judiciary. I have been campaigning against immunity all my life and I will never relent. Our leaders want to enjoy all the benefits of office without shouldering the responsibility that comes with it. Outrageous.
JONATHAN IN TANZANIA
Former President Goodluck Jonathan will lead 33 other Commonwealth observers to Tanzania’s general election holding on October 25. I can bet that he will take this as a welcome distraction. Jonathan has evidently not been having the best of times since he left office in May after conceding the presidential election to the opposition — previously unthinkable in Nigeria. That he is now getting an international assignment on matters related to elections and democracy is further proof that he did the right thing by respecting the wishes of Nigerians as expressed on March 28. Other African incumbents should learn from this. Noteworthy.
OLISEH V ENYEAMA
Let’s just say Sunday Oliseh has not had the best start to his coaching career. The Super Eagles are yet to win a match, and we have also lost the services of our most capped player and goalkeeper, Vincent Enyeama, who has retired from the national team after being stripped of the captaincy. I’m a bit astonished at how an otherwise humble and adorable Enyeama has become a pain in the neck and a hugely controversial figure, but the ability of a coach to manage egos and thorny situations in the dressing room is very vital to his success. Tricky.