President Jonathan is unrepentant and he does not hide it. His confidence when it comes to troubling Nigerians with his analysis is epic. I had decided never to meddle into his affairs again, but the decision seemed like the resolution of a cat never to touch the basket of fish placed before it..
President Jonathan keeps forcing my fingers. I have broken my silence on his recent verbal disaster because no writer has captured my view point yet. Hence this is addressed to Mr. President.

Dear career ‘Jonathanians’, please pardon my constant criticisms of our dear President. I want to be a good teacher, and in doing that, I must pay attention to my weak student(s). Like you, I like the humble Otuoke man. The last time he was alighting from one of the expensive presidential jets, his two arms were humbly placed behind him. He went to visit the survivors of a bomb blast in a hospital, and out of humility, he placed his right hand on his chin all through. Humbly, he even admitted that the recalcitrant Baba Obasanjo is his father. No matter what he wears or where he is, you can’t help but notice humility oozing out of his pores.

Mr. President, there is a likelihood that you will set your eyes on this piece. I know an online outfit most of your aides visit to sample public opinion about you and your administration. I will ensure that this features there, even if it means forgoing my salary to pay my way into getting this published there. Those ‘boys’ around you are not sincere; forget about Omokri, Okupe, Abati and Fani-Kayode, when it comes to relating with the public, they are empty. You may need to fire them! This is not to suggest you employ me, but to draw your attention to the need to cleanse the system of reckless talkers and dangerous strategists.

Mr. President, some weeks back, I learnt you would have your hilarious presidential media chat which would air on Nigerian television stations. I must confess that I was not eager to hear you speak. Experience has shown that anytime you consent to such chat, we would be regaled with  rehearsed scripts, compromised interviewers, selected questions and lack of coherence. On those grounds, you have escaped being lynched by questions from longsuffering Nigerians. I expected that such rehearsal  would bestow you with the oratory skills of Socrates. Yet, you won’t stop goofing. Why, Mr. President?

That day, you sought to save your face as your famous ‘stealing is not corruption’ philosophy was still haunting you. You tried to make sense out of that centenary misstatement but honestly, you compounded it all. Mr. President, what did you say? That stealing is dignified when you call it corruption. Is there any dignity in corruption? It sounded a lot like Fani-Kayode. He is in the habit of making reckless statements. This is one reason you should stop listening to people like him – he once stole from the coffer of this nation. 

I recommend that you try to listen to yourself when you talk. What is our business with your choice between Turkey and Chicken? Now, to the analogy you made in justifying why you, Mrs Jonathan, Alison Madueke, Stella Oduah, David Mark won’t stop stealing from Nigerians. You said if a yam is left with a goat, it will eat the yam up. Correct! Sir, who among you is a goat? I could not remember that Nigerians voted for any goat. Mr. President, that analogy puts a big question mark on your person. For God’s sake, a goat is a lower animal-it lacks the mental capacity to distinguish between good and bad. It has no moral strength of character to discern whether a yam placed before it is for it or not. Mr. President, you are an academic doctorate degree holder. For God sake, goats are yet to have an institution of learning. You walk on two legs, goats have four. You talk, goats bleat. Mr. President, goats have horns, you don’t. Why? Why do you want us to see our leaders as goats? Why the goat and yam analogy?

Thinking you were making a point, you continued by telling us that anywhere you have money and there are humans there, the money will be stolen. Mr. President, you are wrong. This is how it goes, anywhere there is money and there are humans there, sane humans will work to earn it. On the other hand, anywhere there is money and there are thieves, they will steal it. Stop the generalization! There are countries richer than us, humans manage their resources and yet they don’t steal because they have access to it. Mr. President, are you telling us that people like you can’t be trusted with money?

Arguments and philosophies like yours have contributed immensely to the decadence in our society-from the point of law, to religion, to education, to morality and even our social life. When you see a rapist whose excuse is that his victim wore a cleavage-revealing outfit, Mr. President, he takes after you. That is the Jonathan school of thought. Those that lynched the Aluu boys did so with your type of mentality- where there are blood-thirsty ‘manimals,’ any man that is available, whether innocent or guilty must be lynched and set ablaze. The two beasts that molested Cynthia and murdered her were products of your school of thought-a sexual urge must be satisfied at all cost, even if lives will be taken in the process. 

Sadly, this mental mindset is not limited to your speech; you are exhibiting it by action. Motor parks and institutions may be bombed as long as it does not affect your second term ambition. Tonight, a gang of robbers will take the life of poor travellers just because they have lives. Somewhere in an underground place, ritualists are severing the parts of a lady just because she has those parts. Again, you and your people won’t stop siphoning our collective resources because anywhere there is a goat and yam the goat will eat the yam.  I hope you are also aware that anywhere there is God and human commits grave atrocities like yours, God will punish them? When God is ready for that part, I am sure that you won’t even remember the goat, let alone the yam.

Thinkerspen