From the Gubernatorial elections that took place on April 11, 2015 it was obvious there was a systemic ploy to ensure incredible results were achieved. With a massive win of 996,071 votes out of 1,122, 836 votes cast (representing a 90% win) one can only admire such phenomenal results. When such great strides are achieved, it is important to study the model used and adopt key lessons in the interest of national development.
Below are 10 key ways to achieve absolute election success:
Make sure people can’t vote- It’s so simple but it really is pure genius. Across the 31 LGA’s there were records of missing election materials especially the result sheets. As eager citizens arrive, you can either stop them from getting accredited by making sure no PVC card reader arrives at the polling unit or in some cases allow them to get accredited but no stamp to thumb print the election sheet. Better still, you can have the ad hoc staff show that result sheets are missing to really discourage citizens. This will make people feel that waking up early to exercise their fundamental human right is a complete waste of time as a lack of result sheet shows how their ›votes will definitely NOT count.
Compromise the Resident Electoral Officer (REC) - This falls in line with best practice of the top-down approach in a system where decision-making is highly centralized. This provides an overall and clear direction for all tiers of the electoral hierarchy from the Electoral Officers to the Ad-hoc Staff to ensure a seamless execution of the plan for a successful election.
Abduct Over-Zealous Ad-hoc Staff- This is for those who will insist on doing their duty or due to a gap in communication from the Supervising Presiding Officer (SPO) may not have received the order of the day. So to avert any confusion simply abduct the young ad-hoc staff before they arrive at their assigned polling units. It saves from the drama of snatching ballot boxes in front of crowds as you can intervene just in time while you leave citizens waiting aimlessly at the polling unit. Also, it’s just a for a few hours, as they will be released just in time to submit their election materials in tact at the collation center while they wait to receive their appreciation envelope for the night.
Use Violence where necessary- The use of violence in one area can have a ripple effect that will reverberate across the entire State, thanks to the use of mobile phones and social media. In this election we saw a more organized approach using white buses with decent looking thugs who came to cart away ballot boxes. They shot in the air using guns several times to disperse the crowd of eager citizens willing to vote. Unfortunately the violence did result in a few people being killed. In a country ridden with insecurity from a terrorist group in the North, 8 people getting killed and over 30 cases of severely injured people will definitely not get any media attention.
Control The Media- To achieve absolute success you cannot afford for the media to be let loose in the State, they tend to have a mind of their own, desirous of reporting real happenings in real time. Ensure this freelance approach to the media is not condoned. They must be told to stay away and for those in the State they must be controlled. In a case where the brown appreciative envelope does not suffice, you have to use coercion by threatening to burn down their houses with their family in it. Of course, that should temper down any bright ideas on election reportage and ensure they are where the main actors of the State are to cover a seamless process of accreditation and voting in the 30% of the State that seemed to vote. This will of course be a stark difference from what International observers and some local observers will report but fortunately no one has a wide reach like the local media. Those observer reports are really just for those academics that aspire to be a resource for election monitoring in developing countries.
Compromise Some Observers- Again maintaining balance is key. It would be a shame to have such a flawless plan of robbing people of their right to vote by leaving observers to wander around freely reporting a very different reality you have worked so hard to create. In this case, invite them to your house for lunch, welcome them very warmly to the State House and ensure you have discussions of how greatly you have performed and how ecstatic the Akwa Ibom people are to vote 100% for continuity. Do let them know that you are a product of democracy and you will continue to ensure these dividends flow even after you’re gone as Governor. Again thank them for their good works and don’t forget the brown appreciative envelope, this time dollars must be the currency used, as some observers are sophisticated. As they report, you’ll be pleased to see them use the buzzwords such as ‘peaceful’ and ‘perfect’ to describe the successful election.
Strategic Use of Security Forces- Ensure you have heavy security presence in your opponents strong areas. As much as 22 policemen were present in one polling unit in Eniong Offot and none were present in other “less” threatening areas where violence erupted. This anomaly will secure the plan in areas easily controlled. While on the other hand, keep any opposition and their thugs from running amuck as they witness their grand plans to vote or cause their own brand of trouble thwarted before their very eyes. Also you’ll need to ensure the security forces across all levels are on your side. This is for post-election purposes when annoying citizens who actually get upset about their inability to vote, gather to peacefully protest the announced results. You must ensure that none of such revolutionary activities are tolerated. For the few bold citizens that are undeterred by the violence they heard or witnessed during the election process you must make sure as soon they gather, you disperse them. Release fire trucks, helicopter and army tankers to display an unrelenting show of force for those who will try to prove a point about their right to vote.
Compromise Heads of Security Forces- You must positively influence the Commissioner of Police so that every time he gets on the news to discuss the elections he uses buzz words such as ‘peaceful’ and ‘perfect’ to describe the elections. When asked how about the pockets of violence being reported, he’ll react in a super confident way to play down such reports and make lackluster statements such as ‘there’s no violence but I’ll look into it’. He’ll stick to the narrative of perfect elections like white on rice. This will null informal news from miscreants on social media as the main security agent has spoken and his word is bond.
Announce Results as fast as you can- You cannot afford to announce too early, as it will cause eyebrows to be raised. Just make sure you are not the 1st or 2nd State to announce results but ensure you are top 7. At least a good 12 hours after elections is usually a good time to announce the pre-written results. Since you have achieved rule number one by stopping 70% of the citizens from voting, you can skip the arduous task of actually collating results from Ward level to LGA level to State level. There is no need for the manual labour of counting and deciding how many votes will be rendered invalid to guarantee the pre-determined winner. The pre-generated computer results is what you’ll have the REC write on the result sheet to be announced by the Returning Officer usually a Professor assigned from INEC who also plays his role of announcing results ‘as is’ without any questions.
Media Appearances- It is important to select key State actors from Government House, House of Assembly, former and current National Assembly Members and NGO organizations (heavily linked to these State actors) as media emissaries. You’ll need to ensure all media emissaries sing the same song of how the State has always voted one way and will always vote that way forever and ever. You also need to make sure all emissaries use the same buzzwords ‘peaceful’ and ‘perfect’ election. They cannot deviate from the script or attempt to sound realistic by admitting to any reports of slight violence or election fraud. They must not generalize or relate to the fact that Nigerian elections are far from perfect. They must keep their realism to themselves. Finally, these media emissaries need to dismiss any counter narrative from the public as the agents of the opposition parties. It is befitting to label the opposition parties as sore losers who failed miserably in their collective bid to even garner 10% of the votes in the State. Remember to thank the Akwa Ibom people for their steadfastness in delivering incredible election results giving the winner a landslide victory that is enviable by national and global standards. When pictures of protest emerge, tell the audience that those images are imaginary and the real march was a victory march around the State celebrating this glorious win.
The above steps are how to win an election Akwa-Ibom Style, real democracy from the great doctrine of Akpabiosm. Hope this serves as a useful guide in winning elections and nation building.
*NOTE: Please ignore the fact that the discrepancy on accredited voters between the announced result sheet (1,158,624) and the INEC server per the card reader (437,128) was 721,496. Leave the fact for your enemies to argue amongst themselves as you coast onto victory to be inaugurated as Executive Governor on May 29th.